February 2016, I sat on my hallway floor as I watched my mother use the bathroom, (don’t judge me) we were having a regular conversation about our day and plans for the weekend and all I could think about was “this is the perfect time to tell her I have a girlfriend.”
You see Valentine’s Day was approaching and I planned a special night with my girlfriend at a hotel room in downtown Brooklyn and I didn’t want my mother to worry about where I would be. So I needed to tell her. Also, more importantly, I knew I was in love with my girlfriend, and I didn’t want to keep her a secret any longer.
Sitting on the hallway floor with my back against the wall, I muster up the courage to say, “I have something to tell you.” She looks at me with confusion trying to figure out what it could be.
I can’t open my mouth anymore, so at this point; I’m shaking, as my mother starts to list things off.
“Are you pregnant?” She asked. “No.” I answer. “Are you selling drugs?” She asked. “No.”’ I answer. As she keeps going through the list of things it can possibly be, she finally says, “do you have a girlfriend?” And I answer “yes.”
I want to take the time to acknowledge that before this I didn’t even tell my mother I was interested in women. No clue, nothing. And prior to this, five years before, I was in a relationship with a boy. So this girlfriend is my second relationship, ever!
My mother looks at me, almost with disgust. Asking me questions about who is she and what’s her name. So I answer truthfully as I watch her huff and puff, wash her hands and head to her room.
This was the day my life changed.
The next four months it was silence. The household became unbearable to live in, we’ve stopped speaking, and I’ve stopped trying and so did she. I’ll come home at all hours of the night and she didn’t care. Not a call, not a word. Just silence.
May 2016, a sentence that changed my life forever. As I was on the phone with my girlfriend I realized my mother was acting a little more shifty than usual. She asked me if I was on the phone and I said “yes.” But she walks away.
I stopped our conversation to on the phone to have a conversation with my mother. In that conversation she mentions to me that she “cannot stand to see me walking around the house happy and I’m miserable.” This stemming from the fact that I had a girlfriend. Her next sentence to me was. “You have a month to get out of my house, I don’t care where you go, but you have to go.”
Shocked, I asked, “Is this because I have a girlfriend?” (Just to make sure) She said yes, I walk away, pick up my phone and cried to my girlfriend, explaining to her what just happened.
June 2016, my best friend and girlfriend are helping me pack my room, getting rid of clothes I don’t need, electronics that are too heavy to carry, while leaving a lifetime of memories behind. My girlfriend has decided that she’s going to take me in and I get to live with her. Five months of dating and I’m basically living with a stranger, but what choice do I have? My best friend place is crowded and I have nowhere else to go, and besides, I’m in love.
Not all coming out stories and glorious. I realized my story has made me into who I am today. My family, not strong enough to accept me so I accept myself and love myself 100%
I’m Kyanna Simone and this is my coming out story, follow my official profile in MOOVZ, the biggest LGBT social network.